Desk etiquette… does it differ for the sexes?
My friend Nea is a great photographer. She is one of the few who have resisted the temptation of digital and retains her trusty SLR camera - primarily so that she has a reason to have her photos printed (when was the last time you printed your digital photos??) So she is constantly surrounded by beautiful photo frames filled with priceless memories.
This got me thinking of the times I’ve visited all the different offices over the years, and of the differences I’ve observed in relation to the personal items - especially photos - on the desks of leaders around the world.
What I’ve noticed - in general - is that men rarely display photos. And if they do, it’s a trophy shot of a couple of gorgeous little kids (even if the “kids” are now 30 years of age!). There is rarely a photo of their wife.
Women, on the other hand, usually have at least one photo - but usually more than one so that she’s surrounded by friendly faces - her partner, kids, extended family, friends, the dog or cat and so on.
It got me wondering why this was the case? It could be that men seek to play a very different role in the office compared to their home life. Hence they seek to minimise the artefacts that remind them of their other life. Or it could be that a photo of the kids might soften a bloke’s appeal; while a woman truly wishes to be reminded of the other important aspects of her life while she’s working.
What do you reckon? Do photos and personal effects on a desk impact a person’s image? Is there a difference between the sexes and - if so - why do you think that is the case?
April 7th, 2008 at 22:37:24
I don’t know about other women, but I have photos on my desk because it’s part of my motivation. They help me remember to focus on the important stuff, not just the urgent little stuff that gets stuck in our faces, day in/day out!
I suspect that family is more motivating for women than for men. If I’m going to be away from my kids, then every second better count!
My two bits…
Heidi
April 8th, 2008 at 10:09:54
Good point Heidi. Did you find anyone commented on your photos? And do other people in your workplace have them as well?
April 8th, 2008 at 12:23:19
My desk is adorned with photos and most of the staff in our (small) office have photos up, even the guys, but usually it is of their kids/grandkids. Mine are photos of my family and friends, plus shots of me around the world from my travelling days. I even have a photo I downloaded off the internet of some Bangladeshi’s during some flooding last year. They had built a raft for their cattle, whilse their houses were almost under water. Its a great piece to remind me how even people who struggle more than I in life can still rise up to meet challenges. When things start getting overwhelming i’ll catch a glimpse of a photo and remember the more significant things in life. But I’m also not one to worry about what people think, so even if my photos were sending a poor sign, I’d be reluctant to take them down. Perhaps it draws us back to the point that women often seek inspiration outside of themselves, and maybe that, overall, needs to change?!
April 8th, 2008 at 12:38:02
A sigh of relief …my husband has always had my photo on his desk in his corporate life. No, I didn’t give him the photo, he organised it himself.
However, I suspect some desk adornment may very well be gifts from those who want to be in focus! Would they otherwise be there?
In my opinion it is to do with values. Gender aside it is a useful insight into what is important to a person. In my experience photos provide a window to open questions, the attitude will be in the response!
April 8th, 2008 at 12:46:56
Values is a good point. And I think it’s a bit about transparency. Lisa Gray mentioned in her Take the Lead interview that she finds people want to know her as a person - this is part of it, isn’t it…
April 8th, 2008 at 18:47:38
I’m just not a photo person but my desk is still uniquely mine with my plants, rocks, shells, and other bits and pieces that ground me. My man, who is a musician, is also part of my desk - in the soundscape. So I think that there are artifacts of our lives that are not all celuloid but just as meaningful.
April 29th, 2008 at 17:33:23
I’ve noticed this for years. I think men don’t often display photographs and other personal objects because it gives people an insight into their personality - it’s emotive - and men generally don’t willingly give any sort of advantage like that away so easily. Insecure and paranoid? Perhaps. However I know when I’ve seen a personal photo on a man’s desk it immediately gives me a softer impression of him. Also they don’t want to engage in inane (to them) conversation about a photo. It’s obvious why women feel more comfortable, however I do think some women need to be a little careful in what they display - it does send a message, so don’t display your fluffy toy fetish… Another point is how attached you are to your job. If you’re in it for the long haul makes a difference VS I’m just here until I can find something better. Ah male VS female behaviour is endlessly fascinating!