sphinxx blog

Did anyone manage to catch the Four Corners special last night on women in Afghanistan?  As I write this I have goose bumps to think of all the “what ifs” that run through one’s mind in observing such a stark comparison between life in our own ‘land of milk and honey’ and that of women beneath the burkhas in Kabul and the rest of Afghanistan.  And what could possibly happen in my idyllic life to lead me down the path of at least 65 women in

What if I were born in the Middle East instead of Australia?  What if our foremothers had not fought for equality and the right to vote a century ago?  The look on the face of one beggar woman as she lifted her burkha said it all – her tired, withered face had endured more than one lifetime of hardship.  “I was young before my husband was killed in the war.  My son was killed too on the same day.” 

This woman now spends her day begging beneath the disdaining eyes of men on the street who admonish her for being in need.  Her two teenage daughters would like to study, but cannot afford to buy the requisite pencils and notebooks.

Today, after the heartache of thee Four Corners story, I received a newsletter from the Zonta Club of Sydney Breakfast, who for the past year sponsored Nasima, a student from Kabul who has been studying at  Sydney Uni.  The newsletter included a gut wrenching note from Nasima about her return to Kabul, the tears she shed upon returning to her broken city and – on a more light hearted note – her tribulations at trying to establish an internet connection back home so she can send more news.  Perhaps, judging by Nasima, there is hope for Afghani women yet.

I attach the newsletter for your review.  I am sure you will find it heartwarming.

zonta-club-of-sydney-breakfast-sep-2007.pdf

Catherine Fox hit the nail on the head in last Friday’s Boss when she asked “Where are the women?”  The statistics speak for themselves in confirming that something is amiss in corporate Australia when it comes to attracting and retaining women in leadership ranks.

Women don’t need to be treated with kid gloves, but they do face different challenges from men in advancing to leadership roles, due in large to their minority representation.  Pressure to conform to the stereotype of a corporate leader – which in Australia is a white, Anglo-Saxon middle-aged man – and a lack of understanding and acceptance by their male cohort of the differences and strengths that women bring to the leadership table, are contributing to the dearth of female leaders.

And there are the additional personal responsibilities that women leaders manage outside of their roles.  Most male leaders I have worked with have a stay at home partner, while only a handful of women leaders enjoy the same degree of life support and this creates demands on women’s time and priorities that will often flow on to their work life.  The benefit of this, in terms of women being very outcome oriented and focused in delivery, is often overlooked in assessing the suitability of a female candidate for a leadership role.

At sphinxx we are helping executive women overcome these unique challenges in their personal and professional lives by providing them with access to professional development information, referrals to personal services to manage their home life effectively, and assistance in connecting with other women and a broader network of leaders with whom they can form powerful alliances. 

In this community environment, women leaders can share their wisdom and interact without perceptions of minority, and can build confidence in their success and identity as a woman and a leader.  Women need not challenge their identity to fit within the male-dominated leadership model.  They are just right as they are, without the need to change and defeminise themselves just to scale the heights of leadership. 

The need now is to educate the corporate leaders of Australia in the language of sphinxx leadership – the lady and the lioness of female leaders – so that they can support her on the leadership journey.

Ever found yourself in an auction bidding war with someone who simply wanted the purchase more than you?  Up and up the price goes, bid by counter-bid, until your budget’s long gone and you’re exhausted from the paddle-waving that nearly broke your piggybank.

This is called “emotional buying”, and professional salespeople are taught to build emotion because it increases the likelihood of turning an interested prospect into a committed buyer. 

So why is it that – in the leadership context – women are advised to be less emotional, and to focus more on facts than feeling?  Wouldn’t being more committed and personally involved actually increase your leadership grit and determination to succeed?

The fact is, both men and women have emotions, yet stereotypes deem the dominant emotions of women inappropriate in leadership.  When was the last time you heard a bloke being told to be less bullish in closing a deal?  It’s still emotion, just different.

So women are told not to take feedback personally – yet isn’t the whole idea of feedback to engender personal change?  And to be detached in executing strategy – while management pays HR consultants to advise the opposite, in the interests of staff engagement and loyalty.

I’ve noticed that women who are asked to withhold their emotions at work become reluctant to speak out for fear of being tarred with the “too emotional” brush.  The result is internalization, group think, feelings of disempowerment and increased stress levels.

So next time you vent your frustrations on a chick flick instead of at the leadership table, remember the lioness in you.  You can roar as the lioness, and still be a lady.  That’s what sphinxx leadership is all about – there is a place for both the lady and the lioness on every leadership team.