Over the past week I’ve met with two of my mentors to discuss strategies for attaining a new board appointment, which is one of my goals for 2010.  So it was of interest to me to receive an invitation through our network from a guy called Mike who was promoting an event that included talks on a range of topics.  The one that caught my attention was one one called: “Giving up control: - why women are leaving boardrooms or simply not making it there because they don’t want to conform, or to be told what to do.”  (now Mike is not his real name, but this isn't about Mike - and I've since been advised this talk has been removed from the agenda, which is a good thing.)

But we all know that there are loads of Mikes out there who claim to be experts on why women aren’t making it into our boardrooms and who offer all sorts of advice like this.  So why do they think, as in this case, that more conformance will help us get ahead - isn’t that just encouraging group think and defeminisation by women as a means of getting ahead?

In my experience working in the advancement of women as leaders, our ability to relinquish control is not the primary reason women aren’t making it to the boardroom.  Its more likely that the 92% of male board directors who are currently in control (in the ASX200) don’t want to relinquish control or power.  Or, as the gentleman I chatted with at The Sydney Institute dinner last night explained to me, "it often just doesn't cross his mind to add women to the 2 boards he sits on, because it's only male directors he knows through his networks".  Yes, women also have to get better at self-promotion, and connecting with the men who are in the roles so we can get onto short lists and preselections.  But when women hold only 8% of board positions, what control is there to give, Nigel?

Nor is conformance a sound strategy for women getting ahead: in fact this usually works against us.  In Executive Women and the Myth of Having it All, Sylvia Ann Hewlett (whom most of us are familiar through her Onramps and Offramps research) surveyed perceptions of women who take on male behaviours in order to get ahead in their careers - and the results were clear.  When women try and behave like the men, they win no fans with either the men or the women they work with.  And what about all the great attributes women bring to leadership when they're just allowed to be themselves - like their lateral thinking skills, more advanced social and community skills, and their greater EQ which is widely acknowledged as being more important than IQ when it comes to leading.

I'm just so sick of the Mikes of the world giving me their advice on what I should do. It's time we stood up, gave the feedback that we don't need this sort of advice, and got comfortable in advancing ourselves by being ourselves.  That, in my mind, is true leadership.

Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Nigel Collin commented on 17-Mar-2010 12:20 PM

Hi this is Nigel. Yes the Nigel.

I am not talking on woman in the boardroom or anything to do with woman in business.

My area is creativity in business! Obviously the email forwarded to Jennifer ,which was originally form my office) has been mis-interpreted. The email in question listed all the topics being presented and admittedly it didn't name each speaker.Also as it was sent to my database most people get that I work in the creative space and the website (when you link to it) does mentions speakers and their topics. Honest mistake

So let me answer the 'who the hell is Nigel and what makes him an expert on why women aren’t making it into our boardrooms?'Nigel is not an expert on why woman aren't making it in the boardroom, nor does he pretend to be, nor is he speaking about it!!

My topic for the day, if you are interested is 'Stop trying to be creative'. Hope someone finds that just as provocative.

I appreciate Jennifer's time on the phone this morning to clear the air and for agreeing to change this blog entry and delete my name form it.

So...please don't be 'sick the Nigel's of this world'. Although it is to be lumped in a catagory

Incidentally I enjoyed reading the blog as provocation is at times a good thing. Obviously a provocative topic

Nigel

Nigel Collin commented on 17-Mar-2010 05:06 PM

This is misleading. Having mentioned that this is not me speaking and the I do not work in the area of woman in boardrooms or business, nor does any Nigel have any connection to this topic at this event, please revoke reference me and please let your subscribers know that Nigel..(as well as previously mentioned Nigel Collin - taking my Sirname out doesn't correct the error) has nothing to do with this topic at this event and that you understand this because you were informed this morning - March 17, prior to (what I now understand is the resending of this) out this afternoon. Also please revoke all reference to the 'Who the hell' comments and apologies for the, (what I consider to be), derogatory 'Nigel' comments..

Nigel Collin

Jen Dalitz commented on 17-Mar-2010 05:31 PM

Nigel thanks for your comments and I'm sure you're a great guy and you're topic will be a good one. My job at sphinxx is to share information among the network about organisations and events that can help women in advancing their careers and with the 2000 women in our network always on the lookout for each other, your email invitation that included the topic about Women Giving Up Control was forwarded to me. Thanks for clarifying that you are not speaking on this topic - your email invitation didn't make this clear and in view of the sensitivity of women and all over the world about all the things we seem to be told that we're doing wrong and need to differently, I would suggest you disassociate yourself from such topics in the future.

FlyingCanary commented on 19-Mar-2010 02:15 PM

Well said Jen. Whether the original talk topic was going to go ahead or was just in 'creative space' you've sent the message that this is unacceptable and it seems (Mr name and Sirname removed) has got the point. :)