I've had a number of conversations recently regarding the role men can play in advancing women.  I’ve written before about engaging the good guys at work, because while ever men dominate leadership roles in our companies and workplaces, we won’t achieve realistic change without them.  But what about the role of men at home – must you have a supportive partner in your personal life in order to realize your full career potential?

A number of the women leaders I’ve interviewed and seen speak in the past have credited their husbands and partners with enabling them to continue their careers and indeed excel in their chosen field.  Having a supportive partner, they say, is critical to their success.  Sue Morpet, CEO of Pacific Brands, said this in a speech two years ago at the CEW annual dinner; Lynn Wood, Chairman of Noni B Limited said it at our Ascend development day in Sydney this year; and our own Governor General Quentin Bryce has also said it about her husband.  Indeed at the IWDA anniversary celebration last week at Admiralty House in Sydney, I asked the Governor General’s husband - Mr Michael Bryce - about the supporting role he plays and he gladly shared with me many examples of the contribution he makes. (It must help that some of the “official” tasks including keeping company with Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall while our Governor General officiates with the Prince of Wales, as he shared with me recently – that would be fascinating!)

When we look at our Prime Minister Julia Gillard, we see a woman who’s never been married, doesn’t have children, and openly admits she chose a career over family.  She has a partner now though, and says she finds him a great support.  For my part, I enjoyed a successful career before I met my husband, however I know that he is now pivotal in my happiness, wellbeing, and career management.  He’s not a househusband or stay at home dad (do they actually exist, anyway – or are they just a media myth?) but he’s always a great supporter and my number 1 fan, cheering me on from the sidelines particularly when things go pear-shaped (as they can and often do now that I have my own small business). 

So what’s your take – do you think there’s a supportive man behind every successful woman?  Or do you have a different story to tell? 

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Helen Wiseman commented on 15-Aug-2010 10:20 PM

Hi there

My husband and I share 50% of the childcare and household responsibilities between us. My husband works full time in a demanding role and I also juggle many responsibilities with my business and not for profit interests. We do have access to excellent centre-based childcare and we outsource the cleaning. People often ask me how I have the time to do what I do - well, the outsourcing certainly helps but absolutely critical is the equal sharing of responsibilities with hubby. Without that support for each other, neither of us could achieve what we do and have a family life as well.

This is one model that doesn't involve one partner taking a "back seat" but I firmly believe in choice - however you do it, if it works for you and your family, that's all that matters - that is the true meaning of success.

Helen

Lucy Cornell commented on 16-Aug-2010 09:06 AM

Hello Hello. Great blog, Jen.

Isn't the idea that there is generally support behind anyone who is successful? And how about the adage; "Behind every successful man, there is a woman?". So, same for us gals. I agree that a woman/person needs support. However, let's take the credit where it is due. Whoever is the frontman/frontwoman and is being brave by standing up for their belief/business/ideology must take the credit - that is where the risk is.

By the way, I have a wonderful man keeping me on track too.

sphinxx commented on 16-Aug-2010 12:46 PM

Great points from you both... Lucy I love your point about taking credit. And Helen - you're a voice of reason as always. I know how much you both manage to achieve in your careers and in life so you're raising the bar for us all!

Angela Tatlis commented on 16-Aug-2010 09:50 PM

Is the house-husband a myth? Not at my house. We had 4 children under 4 (God bless that last ultrasound with twins!),whilst I had an executive level role with an expected international travel requirement of 2 weeks in 4. My super-husband changed 140 nappies a week and had 3 highchairs lined up in a row at meal-times, with a toddler sitting in position #4. He still supported me in my career every step of the way, and with the twins now aged 5 he has supported me whilst I walk away from my corporate executive role into self-employment. He has cooked, cleaned, shopped - the lot. I just have the laundry.

Is this a great house husband behind a successful woman - sure has been to date, and I am hoping so for the future. Angela

Kim Seeling Smith commented on 17-Aug-2010 08:08 AM

A couple of quick points.

I absolutely believe that behind every (or most at least) great person is a supportive partner. Man or woman.

I've worked with thousands of senior level execs and I can count on 1 hand the ones that have truly "made it to the top" without someone behind the scenes helping them with their day to day personal lives, and supporting the, being their #1 fan, in Jen's words.

I've long held the belief that that's why more women don't make it to the Board room. They don't have that equal partnership at home and / or a husband who truly supports what they do.

I've also seen a number of true house husbands during and I believe that arrangement can work extremely well, given the right dynamic between the partners. I can also be a disaster. You have to manage it very carefully.

I've had a very successful career, but until recently I've never had a truly supportive partner and I believe it's held me back. My partner now is not only my #1 fan, but truly wants to help me grow my business. It's so much nicer to get up every morning and know that there is someone that I can rely on for emotional support (and to kick my butt when I need it) as well as a great business mind that I can tap into when making decisions.

I also think that, as women, we find it easier to excel if we are working for the common good of the family. If we have a bigger goal than just ourselves.

I'm now experiencing what I've observed for so many years and for that I'm truly grateful.

sphinxx commented on 17-Aug-2010 09:35 AM

Angela!!!! Wow!!!!! Four kids under four - you husband indeed sounds like a miracle worker :-)

sphinxx commented on 17-Aug-2010 09:58 AM

Kim it sounds like you indeed have a lot to be grateful for. Thanks for sharing your insights - there's a lot there for us all to learn from.